Today I am reading Paulo Coelho’s the Zahir. He talked about the acomodador. It could not have come to me at a better time.
I just learned that I did not get into Goldman Sach’s 10,000 Women. I really wanted to be a part of it, part of a milestone, of women who can, with this training, “spur more jobs and income, for their businesses, their communities and, ultimately, for their countries.”
I prepared my application, lovingly, apprehensively, wondering what to put on it, wondering how to impress the judges. I dressed carefully on interview day, sharing carefree banter (and my brochures and calling cards) with the other applicants – some out of Payatas who had a cooperative; a social worker who is building a call center from the ground up, cutting up her prices so she can compete with India; a businesswoman who flew all the way from her province, who protested at the class schedule because it will take her away one full week every month from her business (and how will the business survive without her?); and one who sold her soaps to the group and shared to me that she first went to Manila to find the mother who left her, and she did find her and came face to face with her, but she did not want her, not then and not now. Women in business with their own stories, all strong, some struggling, all deserving. Out of 97 shortlisted applicants, only 24 were able to get in and I was not one of them.
I can tell you I am okay, that I will move on, that other women more deserving than I have gotten it and they probably need it more than I do, that it is just one tiny sting on one starlit night. But I will not. I will tell you that it just is.
Coelho’s acomodador, according to the book Magical Practices in North Mexico, is the giving-up point:
There is always an event in our lives that is responsible for us failing to progress: a trauma, a particularly bitter defeat, a disappointment in love, even a victory that we did not quite understand, can make cowards of us and prevent us from moving on. As part of the process of increasing his hidden powers, the shaman must first free himself from that giving-up point and, to do so, he must review his whole life and find out where it occurred.
The acomodador could be many things and events in a man’s life. It could be when he was told that he was not good in math, that he is deathly sick, that his wife is fooling around; getting death threats, not getting that promotion, falling on a bicycle, not getting the part in the school play, not getting the guy, a book she read, a movie she watched and believed.
It could be not getting the scholarship of a lifetime.
I texted my husband.
He answered: Hanap tayo ng mas matindi, ok lang yun, marami pa diyan. I love you. Let’s look for a better opportunity for you, there are more out there, babe. I love you.
I realized, with every little disappointment, with every little thing that I do not get, and if I would not act like a spoiled kid wanting to throw a tantrum, I will learn.
Suddenly, I started to think about the importance of scarcity in one’s life, which was discussed by Bo Sanchez in an email that he wrote to me. Although this “disappointment” would hardly qualify as “scarcity”, it is giving me hunger, a zest to try out newer, more exciting things because I can and there is no limit. I could turn my back on the acomodador and move on.
And the moving on is easier because there are those who give love and support, come what may. (here I smile – thanks D)
I am reminded by what Napoleon Hill (as quoted by Bob Proctor) said: “….persistence which does not recognize failure, will bring riches.”
Do not let things or events stop you. Move on. Give life everything you’ve got. Give it your best shot. No exceptions. No limits.
P.S. Goldman Sach’s is looking for the second batch of scholars. Please check this link for more details.