We are masters of our fates. But sometimes, we forget. We only see the choices that were made for us by others – usually by our families – choices that led us to experience physical and emotional scarcity and destitution, that continue to lead us to a lifetime of want.
Yes, unbeknownst to us, our outcomes are forever colored by those memories and those experiences. Most do not want to cross over to the other side, most tenaciously embrace their past. It is the familiar, it is what they know, it is what they learned to live with.
So they sabotage their lives, sometimes in small thrusts of the blade, and sometimes in the grandest of manners.
Wilma is a year away from being a nurse. She was poor but tenaciously fought that life that seemed also to be her future. She was bright, success was at her door, and she knows that in time – in a year – she would be thrust to a better life, a life wonderfully unfamiliar. Months before graduation, she got pregnant, married a drunkard who physically abused her, left school and abandoned her dreams and kept to her path – the path that she knows and now will walk forever.
Willie Revillame is a popular host of a noontime TV show. Just this year, he added to his many possessions a yacht, a mansion, a mall-condominium. But one afternoon, he came to the verge of losing it all as censure upon censure was heaped upon his head when he showed disrespect during the funeral of the beloved president of the land. Willie is not a stranger to the sudden reversals of his fortunes. Oddly (or not), this tipping point has happened to him several times in the past.
Kanye West knows he is brilliant. But despite the fame, the money and the awards, he pulled a stunt on Taylor Swift at the latest MTV Music Awards and became the poster boy for a fool.
Serena Williams lost it while on the brink of losing, yelling and threatening the linesperson who called a foot fault while she was playing Kim Clijsters in the semi-finals. She was fined $10,000. Oddly, she allegedly put in her blog that she knows that people are happy and joyous when she loses.
You. It could be you not realizing that you have come so far, tenacious in your hold to the past, relishing the idea of poverty (or some equally painful experience), hurting even after all these years, looking at your life and wondering why you do not like what you see… that you manage to actually stay in the past and live it.
Games of sabotage.
(when you only need to see that you have so much and that you have come so far)
Wilma left her husband and pursued her degree. Forever is not forever, after all.
After his suspension, Willie returned to hosting.
Kanye West will probably write a song about the fiasco and make millions. Again.
Serena will get back to form. Hopefully, she can silence the sounds in her head permanently.
Forgive, forget, heal. Overcome the darkness within.
Article by Issa. Art by D. Copyright 2009.
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