A trailing spouse story: Getting to easier

Nitobe Memorial Garden, UBC

Three years, give or take.

That is how long we have been in Beautiful British Columbia. Notice the first letters are capitalized? That’s how the early settlers-migrants-long-time residents see-know British Columbia. And they are right. Mountains meet seas in the in-between, and it is a majestic sight to behold. There’s just the cold to overcome, and the sometime-loneliness that could eat you up, and the opportunities that do not seem to be enough. But this country is waking up, and maybe we are in the midst of a revolution-emergence-stirring of some sorts.

Which gives me hope (and excitement).

Ours was initially not a trailing spouse story. It was a mutual decision for my husband and myself to go through with Plan B (immigration) because we wanted to give our children wings.

When we have taken that first step and now that we see them sprouting things, our story evolved into a trailing spouse story.

One wanted to stay, one wanted to go, and the other is staying just because the other is staying. I will not say who it is, maybe you will figure it out as we go.

Because although it seems to be getting easier – after all, that should be the logical development – it is not. When ties with the home-country are so stretched that one cannot see the end, or fails to remember, or remembers so much that one is haunted by possibilities and could-have-beens, it gets painful.

But we are moving forward or trying. After all, immigration – or trailing a spouse – is not for the faint-hearted. But the future looms and the possibilities are making themselves known.

And by moving forward, I mean severing some ties. And nothing could be more severe than selling one’s house in one’s home country. We have done that. We are ready, somewhat, to face a future here, to make Canada home, to receive in our lives a stamp of permanence.

There’s uncertainty, and fear. But we acknowledge it, say hello, thank it for its gifts, bid it to leave us be.

And that’s my wish for you this New Year too. To be fearless without being foolhardy, to move forward, embrace the present which has in itself so many wonderful gifts and teachings, not to take life-other people-problems so seriously (don’t sweat the small stuff, it’s all small stuff – borrowed from Richard Carlson, PhD), and to have roaring fun.

It gets better, or interesting. Just hang in there. You will surprise you.

Article and photo by Issa. Copyright 2009-2015.
Website: www.YouWantToBeRich.com
Email: issa@youwanttoberich.com