Time’s Up

Eternity

Saw those two words and – I have no other word for it – I freaked.

We are all waiting to hear those two words. Okay. Not waiting, I guess. But dreading to hear the final buzz, to have the light go off and have it not come back, to look back at our life – if that life-flashing-before-your-eyes at the end is true – and find that our life was wasted on things and people and moments that did not mean anything.

(But how could it be that every moment would mean something? What pursuit will that be? Isn’t life supposed to be filled – some of the time – with drudgery? Doesn’t that make the moments that stand out – stand out?)

At that very moment, every thing – every problem, every pursuit, every goal, every yearning – seemed trivial.

It will all end for every one – every one – at one point.

If we have a common destiny – this is it. The end.

And just like that – perspective shifted.

Things – and people and situations that made the heart heavy – seemed ludicrous. Concerns – no matter how deep or hurtful – did not mean anything. They are temporary – like the cold wind that kisses us this winter.

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In the grand scheme of things

Flying high

A man may do an immense deal of good, if he does not care who gets the credit for it.  ~Father Strickland, 1863

Somebody forgot to mention you in their all-powerful speech. Or acknowledge you. Or to look at you at the right moment – the moment where it mattered – where everyone will realize – or remember – that yes, it was because of YOU.

You were prepared to smile, to blush, to say that it was nothing, or that it did not matter, or that you did not want recognition, or anything.

But you were forgotten.

It was a slip, a sliver of a moment, but it hurt like hell.

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Easter Egg Hunt

Brighter than the Darkest Night

Brighter than the Darkest Night

We could not wait for dawn to break through.

But as it is , the night was still blanketed with stars.  But we were excited and could not sleep because of the excitement.  We have just painted our Easter eggs, my brothers and I, just a few hours ago.  We had 2 eggs each.  One of mine had waves of red and blue, the other had a wash of light red, just hint of blush, and I thought it was beautiful.  My brothers were equally focused on the task at hand (but their eggs were not as pretty as mine).  I almost felt sad when we finished and handed it to our mother so she can paint, with her harsh black tipped pen, an amount on it.  She then sent us outside, to the “adults”, so we can hand to them our works of art so they can hide it at the empty lot beside our house.  I still remember scouring the wall, silently, with my brothers, tiptoeing so we can see where the eggs were being hidden.  But there was only darkness.

At last, the first ray of sunshine broke through and with it, we let out an outburst of delight.  We could not eat, or take a bath, or dress, fast enough.

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Letting God

In the Darkest Night

In Your Darkest Night

From time to time, you reach points in your life when you just feel… tired.

Tired of going through the daily grind, tired of being wrong, tired of being right.  Tired of arguing with people over the same things over and over again, tired of worrying, tired of planning for the future, tired of waiting.

Tired of smiling, tired of plodding on, tired of learning, tired of wanting to learn.

Tired of moving forward.

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