I am not really a business woman.
At least I did not start out thinking that I could be one.

All I know is how to be an employee. I was trained to think that way in school. I was not really aware but I was being groomed to become a top employee, the crème de la crème so that top companies will fight for me come graduation. My grades were my mirrors, and they were supposed to mirror me in top form so at least I will be considered. I was taught to follow all the rules, to take it all in and not ask, to be gracious and grateful, because I need these companies more than they need me.

It was my destiny.

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Business owners and investors (the more evolved business owner) have it the greatest. Apart from money (lots), they have in their hands buttons for control – control over their time, how much money to give to the government, what to pursue, who to pursue, all the trappings that money can buy (or attract). But behind every businessman-turned-millionaire story is the back story: inhuman work hours, doing the work of 5 or more people… Name it they have done it – beg, steal, borrow, the accounting, the contracts, the creatives, the marketing, the evaluating, the letter writing, the thinking, dealing with people, negotiating, planning, selling, cajoling… I should know. I am in the thick of this back story (well, what I hope will be a back story). And can I just add? – it does not end there: from time to time come those little heart palpitations and unbidden thoughts: “Why are you doing this? Are you crazy?” To be capped by the ringing of a defeatist battlecry: “Give it up. Give it up.” And then I would think: wouldn’t it be great to just go back to the simple life, a time when work need not be taken to the home, to nights when there need not be any presence of mind (mind has maxed out its quota during the day), when there are no million and one books and letters and documents to read and study, nights when playing with a daughter, reading, watching television, not thinking – is possible?

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