The first few days of “The List” were hard. The Indays were on the defensive track. They knew they were being monitored and they did not like it. They staged pseudo-hunger strikes and then asked me for a budget for them for food so they will not eat ours. I finally sat them down to talk and I explained to them that I was not at home all the time and it was hard for me to understand why the food is being consumed so very fast when my husband and I hardly eat at home, or why the Meralco is so high, or why four long bars of laundry soap will only last 2 weeks. I told them that I was sorry to have made them feel that way but The List was just a way for me to understand. I did not know how long food or water or gas should last and usually, my expectations are not very reasonable. I wanted to be free of delusions. I did not say it but I also wanted to be free of suspicions. It was not a very good way to live. For either me or the Indays.

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